juldec05

12/29/05

Wishing everyone an early Happy New Year! I hope 2006 is year of success and hope for all of us. The year when dreams come true. A quick look back at my year in writing: 43 submissions that received responses this year. Still have about 20 things awaiting responses as we speak, but I doubt I hear anything until next year now. 40 Rejections and 3 Acceptances. Despite the shitty year I've had personally, this is the best sales year I've had in four years. Pathetic on the grand scale of writers and all, but for me, it was pretty darned good. Considering that I hadn't sold a story in three years. I hope this meager trickle will lead to better things next year. That's my wish at any rate.

In the production department, I wrote a lot this year. Short story production was really bad this year with only six completed stories. Sold one of the six, though, so that's not too bad. I have hopes for the other four too. Novel production was stellar. I wrote a whopping FOUR novels this year. I'm very proud of this achievement, especially since I thought I'd blown this goal in February when I couldn't finish a book that quarter. Total word count for the year is: 323,225 words. Overall, I'm pleased with that number, but I think I can do better than that.

In the publication department, a major milestone this year. The Sound of Angels was my first ever book publication and I'm still very proud of this book. I never thought I'd see my own name on a book, but it happened in 2005. One of the very few bright spots of a very rough year.

Goals for next year:

Write at least 12 short stories
Write at least 5 novels
Sell at least 3 short stories to professional markets
Make my first novel sale (yeah, I'm forever hopeful on this one)
Improve my proposal writing skills
Improve my query writing skills
Learn how to write a big book
Submit all of my salable novels
Work harder to find an agent

Any year that begins with chicken pox and ends with surgery is a year I'm not sorry to see go. My surgery is very early tomorrow morning, so I don't think I'll be back at the keyboard for a couple of days. But stranger things have happened. I still plan to be at my keyboard on January 1st to start writing Ebony Moon though. That's why they make painkillers, right?

Have a good evening and a Happy New Year!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Wave by various

12/27/05

Heartfelt sympathies to Vera on the loss of her beloved Lhasa, Tarasik. Losing a pet is gut-wrenching. And it never really heals. We just learn how to go on without them. I hope for the time when memories of Tarasik bring you smiles instead of tears, when photographs bring peace instead of pain. Until then, know your friends care about you and will be there if you need us.

I spent the evening rewriting my friggin' query for Landfall yet one more time. Sent it out again. We'll see what happens.

Also, read through my notes for my next novel. I plan to start it on 1/1/06, but I hope I don't have to revise that date. My surgery date is scheduled for 12/30, so I hope it will be possible for me to write a little on 1/1. Have no idea how I'll feel, but hoping to suck it up and start the book. When I wrote my notes for the book, I'd intended to write it in November, but ended up writing Landfall instead. And I couldn't come up with a title -- just came up empty each time. But tonight, after reading over my notes, I saw a working title immediately within the text. Don't know if it will stay (if it'll fit), but for now, it's called Ebony Moon. I renamed the directory, so it's official.

A Save Your Postage FYI: got my partial back unread from Bantam Spectra today, saying they no longer read unagented manuscripts. Sigh. That only leaves Baen, DAW, Tor, and Roc as major publishers who don't read unsolicited manuscripts (and I'm not even certain about Roc since it's under the same editorial direction as Ace.)

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Wave by various

12/27/05

I spent the evening rewriting my friggin' query for Landfall yet one more time. Sent it out again. We'll see what happens.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Wave by various

12/24/05

Wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays. Safe travels, good company, and warm firelight tonight. My whole family is here tonight and we're going to drink wine, eat pizza (a family tradition), poke fun at each other, and open presents. Should be a fun evening. Maybe I'll even get a chance to watch It's A Wonderful Life?

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/22/05

FINAL WORD COUNT = 41,750 words!!!
GOAL = 40,000 words

1500 words -- Stick a fork in it...this book is done! WOOHOO!!! Man, that feels good to say.

I'm pleased with it overall. Will have to go back through it in a few days and see how it reads. At 42K, I'm probably going to flesh out some things, bring it up to 45K (probably more marketable at this length).

I'm really glad I decided to write another book in December. My goal for the year had been to write 4 novels and when the Chicken Pox hit me last January (and bronchitis a month or so later), I couldn't pull off a book that quarter. But I feel good knowing I pulled off the goal, even it was at the eleventh hour.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/21/05

3250 words -- Kicked out my only 3K+ night of this dare to hit that 40K mark. Woohoo!!

Not done with the story yet. I have the denouement to write which I really want to start on fresh tomorrow. I got it started, but this is a very important part of the story. Gotta do it right. I don't think it'll be much longer than another 1K. But I'll have it finished tomorrow, no problem. This whole book started out as a nagging feeling I got after reading some uncomfortable news stories. I'm almost afraid to read it after I finish. It's just damned weird. Sure hope it holds together. Nevertheless, it's almost done...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/20/05

2500 words -- Cool, another 2500-word run. I have bowling league tomorrow night, so I don't know how much I'll manage tomorrow. But I'm probably about 3-4K from the end. I thought it would go longer than that, but things moved faster in the plot than I'd expected. Heather and Ryan are on their last ditch run to reach the spiral before Death overtakes them.

I could actually lay this book to rest by Thursday. Fingers crossed. That'll even give me a week to gear up for the next book starting January 1. Gotta get back into the mindset for that book, re-read the research I collected and the plot stuff I wrote out.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

12/19/05

2500 words — I'm surprised at tonight's word count. After unplanned 10-hour day at work, I didn't get home and finish eating until after 8 PM. Fortunately, I'd left off writing last night at kind of a cliffhanger, so tonight I was right in the middle of the action. I'm well into Act III and have one or two more scenes to write before the story's final action sequence begins. And the denouement for this story is one of the coolest points of the story. At least it is in my head.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/18/05

1700 words -- I'm about 8K from my goal. Hopefully, I'll finish the book this week. My plan is by Friday, but we'll see.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/17/05

2300 words -- Hit the 30K mark tonight. I think this book will go a little over 40K. Probably no more than 45K. I'm going to work on a query tonight for another book. Most of my novels aren't out at the moment. Only two, I think. Of fourteen (including the current novel in progress).

Finished my Christmas shopping tonight. Just need to wrap everything and I'm done. Even got my cards mailed tonight, too.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/16/05

2000 words -- I should pass the 30K mark tomorrow. I always feel more comfortable with a story when I pass the 100-page mark.

In other fun news, a 212-day rejection from RoF. So hard for me to take when I see other people selling here all the time. My 29th rejection from that magazine. Sigh. Also, another agent rejection. Not such a good day. I so wish I could break through these barriers that have been in my way for 13 years. Just doesn't look like that's ever going to happen. I can't help but feel like a loser when I see so many other people doing it and no matter what I do, I can't make it happen. Just feels hopeless. Not sure why I even come to this keyboard every night and write.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/15/05

2250 words -- Managed a 2K surplus again tonight. I've really got to make this weekend count because I've got company coming on Wednesday, so it'll be hard to get much wordage accomplished with so many people in the house (and dogs). I was hoping to put this book to bed by Friday at the latest. We'll see. I've probably got about 3 or 4K left of my second act.

I plan to end that act with Ryan carried away by shadow angels when he tries to rescue his girlfriend from the eternal sleep in the poppy fields. Thinking she's lost Ryan forever, Heather decides to go into the poppy fields after him, despite Death at last finding her. Only through the help of others does Heather elude Death and rescue Ryan from the field of poppies. He knows he's lost his girlfriend forever now, but Heather gets through his grief when she reveals to him that she has found the spiral. It's their only hope of escaping the Between. With four other lost souls, Heather and Ryan set out for the spiral as they run from Death. They hope they reach the spiral ahead of her and her scythe. This is the weirdest book I've ever written. Hope it turns out.

Received a 53-day rejection from the new Orson Scott Card online magazine. No big surprise there. Still waiting for soon-to-come decisions on three short stories and a novel. I'm really glad I'm swamped with a hundred thousand things so I don't have time to fret over these decisions.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/14/05

2250 words -- A long, yucky work day and bowling league...man, am I tired. Managed a decent word count though. I consider this length a very big challenge for me. I've never written anything at this length before, so I hope this one turns out. If it doesn't, I'll chalk it up to my 1 million words. Had to start the counter over on those.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Land of Forever by 2002

12/13/05

1350 words -- Ran out of time tonight and have an early work meeting tomorrow.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/12/05

2650 words -- Hit 20K tonight. Halfway there.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Falling Farther In by October Project

12/11/05

1500 words -- Slightly better word count, but the brain simply rebelled today. And I have an early more business trip tomorrow, so that kind of shot my motivation for the whole day. I'll be out of town all day tomorrow and will be a zombie tomorrow night, I'm sure. Not expecting much output tomorrow either, but I plan to at least give it a shot. My day job is so kicking my butt these days. And I can't post any of it here. Even if I could, it's so surreal that it's beyond words.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Shepherd Moons by Enya

12/10/05

1000 words -- Too many errands, too many "chores" and not enough time. I'll take my 1K and run with it. Hell, I was all prepared to record a big fat zero for tonight's word count, but I guilted myself into at least doing 4 pages. Sheesh, if I couldn't at least do 4 pages, I was just being lazy. I could probably do a couple more, but yeah, I'm feeling lazy tonight. So I won't. :)

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Fallen by Evanescence

12/9/05

2375 words -- Wow, weird that I made exactly the same word count as last night. But hey, I'll take it. Even hit 15K. Almost halfway there. Got a little later start tonight because I had to decorate the Christmas tree that I've had up since last Saturday. It was almost picture perfect. Poured myself an oaky glass of merlot, cranked up the Christmas carols and hung glass balls in pale gold, blue, pink, purple. Strung clear stars, leaves, and silver spirals beside silver snowflakes and gold stars between the pale blue and lavender ribbon and fabric draped across the tree. Outside the picture window was that thick blanket of snow that fell last night (7 inches), giving the tree with its colored lights and scent of pine a dreamy glow. The only thing missing was a hot guy in a snuggly sweater and some mistletoe. *wistful sigh* A girl can dream, can't she?

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/8/05

2375 words -- Very good night at the keyboard. Got a lot more wordage than I'd expected. Still not quite sure where this book is leading (before I get to my ending, that is). I know the end, but I'm still not exactly sure how I get to there from here. I'm sure I'll figure that out when I need to.

We're having a hellatious snowstorm right now. Supposed to get 7 inches or something. And it's been so cold. I'm still reeling from the shock of the cold this year. Had my ultrasound today. I know I have at least two fibroid tumors, but that's all I could gather from watching the screen. Not sure how large they are yet. Won't know until next week, I suspect.

I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday...gotta finish my Christmas shopping this weekend. It's really beautiful and silent outside, the snow covering everything in that white softness, wash of colored lights peeking out beneath it, the air swirling with flakes. Like a snowglobe.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/7/05

1500 words -- Had bowling league tonight, so I only got an hour at the keyboard tonight, but I think I made some decent story progress. Heather and Ryan are about to seek out the Spiral and one last chance at getting this life thing right. Things just sort of unfolded nicely tonight. I was a little worried about what I'd written last night because of the stupid migraine, afraid I'd led my characters a little astray. But after looking over where I'd ended, I found that I was still on track. Tomorrow, I should get things moving at a better clip in terms of story pacing. And I broke the 10K mark, so I'm happy about that. That means I'm a quarter of the way to my goal.

And a very strange day for writing news. For the first time in my writing career, I got two emails today for two different stories, telling me that my stories were being held for final consideration. I was really, really surprised. No sales or anything and nothing may come of either short list, but hey, at least I got the editors' attention, right? Nothing else to report. Still crossing all appendages on the DAW antho (story I subbed this weekend) and another manuscript under consideration...

My mom got her MRI results today from that terrible fall she took the day before Thanksgiving. She did break a bone in her knee, tore a muscle, and tore cartilege. She's having knee surgery on 12/19. So, I had to move up my ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Then I see the surgeon next Wednesday.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Land of Forever by 2002 (who has a new CD coming out in January 2006!)

12/6/05

1625 words -- Tough night at the keyboard, but I'm glad I got something written tonight. Early afternoon brought on a killer migraine that's just been kicking my butt. After supper, I took an Aleve and used an ice pack, enough that I could stare at the screen for a little bit. Was hoping for 1K, so I'm pleased with my word count. My migraines are traditional ones. They're more like cluster headaches. I get them on the right side of my head and they're usually induced from muscular strain (fibromyalgia-related). About the only thing that helps is sleep. Which is where I'm headed now.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Painted Pictures by Grey Eye Glances

12/5/05

2125 words -- Finished Chapter Two tonight after a little bit of a late start. Got my two main characters moving toward their goal. Had a doctor's appointment today and spent a little time waiting, so I did a little story brainstorming while I waited and bingo -- the story's ending hit me with a really powerful image. I was stoked at that point and couldn't wait to write down the ending. But I didn't need to. It's right there in the middle of my brain, waiting for me to get there.

Got some not-what-I-was-hoping-for news today though. Looks like there's another surgery in my future -- before the year's out. My doctor felt a large lump in my abdomen, so I'm off for an ultrasound next Friday. It's a fibroid tumor, no question. Had an ultrasound a few years ago that found it, a small one, but apparently it's grown (grapefruit sized). Sucks. These things are just the biggest nuisance. Had two removed in 1990 (one the size of a grapefruit) and have no desire to repeat that experience. I was hoping it was stay small, but they tend to grow. But I'm still going to finish this damned book and I'm still going to start another one in January.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amarantine by Enya

12/4/05

2000 words -- Finally managed a whole 2K on this one. Man, this idea was a lot tougher to handle than I'd realized. It's a heavy story, kind of emotionally tough to wade through, but I'm moving forward. I knew this one would be a challenge when I started it. It's not so much an edge story now (what I'd originally wanted to write), from a stylistic sense. Which is what I'd been shooting for. Oh, well, ideas change. I'll keep plugging away and see where it goes. It's definitely one of the stranger things I've written in a while. I'm definitely going to be ready for something lighter when I finish this one. My next book after this one is going to a fantasy romance. I've done research for this one already and had actually planned to write it last month. Ironically though, I was afraid it was going to be a 100K book, so I delayed it. I didn't think I could tackle 100K this month. Landfall was 99K. Go figure. So, I guess I know I can handle that word length still. Actually, I'm glad it worked out this way. I didn't have the confidence at length before, but now, I think I can do it.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amarantine by Enya

12/3/05

1750 words -- Man, what a day...my day started off at 1:30 AM (as I was ending the previous one) with an email about a submission opportunity (to a closed anthology). No sure thing here, but I'd have a shot at the antho if I could turn around a story ASAP. So, I forced my brain to chew on the theme a little and I poked out a few words until I couldn't stay awake any longer. I decided I'd grab a few hours and hit the story first thing. So I dragged my tired butt out of bed before 9 AM to pound out the story. By 2 PM and two drafts, I had 3500 words. I did a final pass and shipped off the story.

And now I wait....and hope the editor buys the story....no promises, but I gave it my best shot. Needless to say, I got a very late start on my errands. But I feel pretty proud of myself for turning around a story from idea to finish in twelve hours (including some sleep time in there). It's a good story. I hope the editor agrees.

Got our Christmas tree up tonight. And within five minutes of it going vertical, Trinity was all the way at the top of the tree. I laughed myself silly watching my one year old kitties freaking out over the tree. I remember this time last year when I brought home Denali, then Trinity a week or so later. What a blast they were last year. Having Christmas kittens was awesome. And I'm enjoying them just as much this year.

Just finished putting down not quite 2K on the new novel. This is definitely a weird story. I was so unsure about what I'd written yesterday, but tonight when I reread it, I felt better. Hope that trend continues. I started Chapter 2 already, Chapter 1 being a short chapter.

Guess that's it for me tonight. I put down a decent word count for the day, a little over 5K. I'll take it.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

12/2/05

1250 words -- Started off The Between tonight with a very modest word count. Still a little unsure (okay, a lot unsure) about where it's all going. The first chapter was pretty tough to write, so I'm going to let it settle for tonight and see where it all leads tomorrow. I didn't know it would start in Seattle, but there it was, laid out for me to enter the scene...and now I'm pining for a ferry ride and a glimpse of orcas. Sigh. Anyway, the book doesn't stay in Seattle -- just a glimpse before it moves Between. My main character has just killed herself. Hmmm, not what I'd envisioned when I set out on this one. I hadn't exactly expected that. Guess I'll work with it and see where it leads. It's not the end of the story by any means, but the beginning, but I guess I hadn't expected it in the first six pages. Shows what I know.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Woman by various

11/30/05

FINAL WORD COUNT = 98,750 words!!
GOAL = 60,000 words

1250 words -- Okay, I couldn't leave it alone tonight. At work today, I thought of a tiny end I didn't tie up between two of the characters, so I went in tonight and tied it up. Yielding another 1250 words, bringing this book 1 page shy of 99K. This is a record finish for me. The most words I've ever written in one month.

And I'm already starting to go into withdrawal... Not sure I'm going to last 'til January without another book to work on. Man, what's the matter with me? This is supposed to be work, but I just had a blast writing this book. And the other two I wrote this year. All three were sheer pleasure to write. I know I sound like a real dolt saying that, but I just love writing novels.

And see, ... I'm starting to get this idea for a short, edgy novel ... Probably around 40K or so. Maybe I'll just write that in December and gear up for the next full length book in January. I already have a title for it, too. It's called Suicide Club.

So, if any of you guys are planning a December Dare and need some company...I think I'm gonna do this again.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amarantine by Enya

11/29/05

7625 words -- Oh wow...it's done. I finished it. Nearly 98K, too. I'm speechless. My brain is numb... Landfall is done. I'm going to feel totally lost tomorrow night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

11/28/05

4375 words -- Nate is now in his darkest moment, facing a marriage to a woman he can't stand, a woman who's been cheating on him for months. He believes he's lost Kadence forever. Kadence finds out that Nate has left Lake Charles, returning to Arlington for good, without saying goodbye. And a talk with the friend who drove him to the airport reveals Nate's feelings for her. She knows that Nate loves her and when she discovers he's being forced to go through with a wedding he was going to cancel...she hops a plane for Arlington to stop the wedding.

I'm pretty sure that I'm three chapters from the end. Did I mention this book's gonna be 95K? *groan* Two days left...

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: A Day Without Rain by Enya

11/27/05

11,500 words -- Yep, the real word count. Hard to believe...this is a record word count for me. I had to check it twice to make sure. It's a good thing, too, because I'm still about 6K from the end of the book. Kadence and Nate, believing they have no chance at reconciliation, are riding out a hurricane that's destroying Kadence's house piece by piece as the hours pass and the flood waters rise. Probably four chapters from the end. The end is in sight, but man, I had no idea this book would be 90K+ when I started it...it's still going to be a close finish by Wednesday.

And...I finally have a working title for this bad boy: Landfall. Not great, but it's a title.

Stayed up 'til four AM this morning to get that other manuscript edited. Got it out the door this afternoon, so that's out of the way. But I'm almost there with this book.

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Spirit by Jewel

11/26/05

9000 words -- Really cranked out the words today. Mainly because things are really moving at full tilt in the story. I'm at 74K now and things are moving swiftly toward the darkest moments for my characters. Kadence has just found out that Nate's engaged to be married (even though he's made up his mind to break off the engagement and suffer the consequences on his return to Arlington). Kadence thinks she was just his last fling before marriage. The next evening, Nate finds out that his fiance has been cheating on him. And despite his anger, he's relieved, knowing that even his father would accept him calling off the engagement. But Hurricane Rita is rushing toward Kadence's town at alarming speed and power. Kadence plans to ride out the storm, hoping the approaching hurricane would convince him to leave Louisiana early. But he refuses to leave. Almost to this point in the story. Probably about six chapters from the end.

A quick break and then off to continue the other manuscript edits. Still a long way to go. : (

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Dream Spiral by Hilary Stagg

11/25/05

5000 words -- Had to go out and run a bazillion errands today. And the cold my brother's family has been passing around has finally found its way to me. Groan. I hate colds. Anyway, I spent the rest of day banging out words on this book, coming up with another 5K today. I'm about 7 or 8 chapters from the end. With only days left of the Dare, it's definitely gonna be a close finish. Tomorrow and Sunday, I don't have to go anywhere, so I should be able to do some serious damage to those last remaining chapters.

Y'know, before I started Dean Smith's 8-month Dare cycle, the thought of writing 6 books in a year seemed totally impossible to me. Yet, here I am, working on book 2 of 4 for this dare and I'm loving every minute of the production. Already looking forward to starting the next book in January. But I really can finish a book draft every other month. That thought blows me away. The only thing I've hated about this month has been the awful cascade of real life events I've had to deal with. And honestly, I don't know what I'd have done without having a book to write. It's kept my going when I really just wanted to lay down and quit. I haven't yet written 6 books in a year, but I think it's certainly possible. I'd set out to write 4 this year, but will only manage 3 by year's end. Next year, I'm going to try harder and see where it leads me.

Off to take a quick break and then do some final edits on a manuscript I'm way behind on...

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: City of Angels soundtrack

11/24/05

8650 words -- Best wordage of the Dare. And I hit 60K!! Still a long way to go in the story. Now, I'm feeling a lot better about bringing this story to a close by next Wednesday night. Had to cook the entire Thanksgiving dinner myself this year. Just for my parents though, so it wasn't too stressful. I'm rather self-conscious about cooking for other people, but everything came together in an edible fashion. So I consider the meal a success. My mom's still in terrible pain, but nothing will be done for her until she goes back to the orthopedic doctor. Why he didn't schedule an MRI is a mystery to me? VERY annoying.

Spent the rest of the day writing. I hit a plot point that just exploded into maximum wordage. After I hit 5K today, I plotted out the book's final act. This book may be a mainstream book. I wasn't sure what it was going to be when I started it. Thought it was a romance, but that's not quite right somehow. There's a strong romantic component to the book, but it's about other things. I'll figure out what it is after I finish it. I think I've got at least another 15K to write, maybe 20K. I need at least another 5K day to be able to cross the finish line on time. With the next 3 days off, I'm hoping to pull that off.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Woman by various

11/23/05

2100 words -- Not sure how many more days like today I can stand. Nobody got any sleep last night at my house. My mom was in terrible, terrible pain. I went into work around 7 AM this morning to take care of time cards and other pressing matters until 11 AM when I had to take my mom to the orthopedic doctor. Went to the wrong place, arrived super late only to miss the doctor. So we had to sit and wait for him for an hour. With my mom in excruciating pain, unable to sit, stand, walk, etc.. It was 1:30 before we actually saw the doctor. He drained fluid off the knee and took more x-rays. Nothing is broken, but he wants to wait and see how things heal for a week. Then she has to go back. All that for absolutely no pain relief...ARGH!!!!!!

It was almost 3 PM when we got home. Then I had to go take care of my neighbor's cat while they're away. Then there's that little Thanksgiving dinner...with not a shred of food in the house. So a trip to the grocery after I drop off the rental car because my car is finally ready (after 10 days of work). I finally got to sit down on my couch at 8:30 tonight.

Needless to say, I feel like a ragged ball of nerves and hangnails...surprised as hell I managed 2K tonight. And I cracked 50K. I did manage to snag Enya's new CD between picking up my car and the grocery store. Found out that Kate Bush has a new CD out, too -- after 12 years (thanks, Steve!). But...Target didn't have it. :( I'll have to go in search of it soon. New Kate Bush -- man, I can't even imagine.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amaratine by Enya (my favorite so far is "If I could be where you are")

11/22/05

3125 words -- God, what a day...it started off okay, but about 4 o'clock, my mom calls me sobbing because she'd taken a bad fall on concrete and couldn't put weight on her right knee. So I blasted out of work and rushed to take her to the emergency room. So I spent the evening in ER, waiting for the results of x-rays. Thankfully, there were no broken bones, but her knee is swollen about 2 and half times its normal size. The doctor said there was a lot of blood in the joint and she still can't put weight on it. She has to see an orthopedic doctor tomorrow to see if there are any torn ligaments or if she's torn cartilege. Having been through that, I have a bad feeling she's torn cartilege. I hope we'll know more tomorrow. Scary evening...

I'm glad that I grabbed some time this afternoon to write at lunch, before all hell broke loose. Managed to carve out an hour and a half after getting back from the ER, too, for writing. Luckily for me, I've been in a fast-paced part of this book, so putting down words hasn't been a problem. I'll definitely be passed 50K tomorrow night and in good position to hit 60K by Sunday.

I'm supposed to get my car back from the repair shop tomorrow (fingers crossed). And I'm dying to get the new Enya CD that came out today (after four years of waiting). I'd plan to go out and get it tonight after work, but...well, life happens again. Sure wish there were some good things to balance out all this bad crap.

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: If You See A Dream by Libby Roderick

11/21/05

5000 words -- Killer wordage, huh? I was really surprised when I checked the day's totals. I did the lunch writer thing today, wanting to regain some lost ground from last week. I'm scaring the heck out of 50K now and Nate and Kadence have really started to bond. I need to do a better job of handling time, to make sure I handle that right. Nate will only be with Kadence for a month, so I've got to make sure I reflect that. Then of course, he's got a major decision to make: disappoint his dad and break off his engagement with a woman who doesn't love him/is seeing someone else (which he doesn't yet know) or be with the woman he's falling in love with (who isn't quite ready for a new relationship). Of course, there's this hurricane that stirs everything up, too. Things are getting interesting...

If I can finish out the week at 60K or better, I might just finish this book on time.

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: The Collection by Mary Black

11/20/05

2625 words -- Still didn't get a 3K day, but I got close. Moved past the 40K-mark, too! Got Nate into a mildly disturbing situation following an argument with Kadence. I think this book's going to be about 75K or so. Not quite at the halfway point yet, storywise. A few more things need to happen before I get to that point.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: A Day Without Rain by Enya

11/19/05

1375 words -- Best I could do with company in the house. Hopefully, I can achieve 40K tomorrow. I'm pretty close right now. Next week is a 3-day work week and we won't have a house full of company, so hopefully, I can get some major work done on this book.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

11/18/05

2425 words -- Holy shit, I got my words done early tonight! My brother and his family are visiting this weekend and my brother is only minutes away as I've been typing furiously to get my word count in for the night. It's not even 9:30 pm yet and I've gotten a fairly decent word count for the night. Wow...maybe I can actually relax for a while tonight.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

11/17/05

2200 words -- Can't believe I managed 2K+ tonight after all the errands I had to run tonight. But pleased that I pulled it off. It's late though...that stupid alarm clock will ring way too soon for me. Thank God it's Friday though with a 3-day work week soon to follow.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/16/05

2250 words -- Man, I got home so late tonight after bowling league. Had lane troubles, so I didn't even get home 'til 20 after 8. Then I sucked down a quick meal and didn't even sit down at the keyboard until 8:40 pm. Fortunately, I'd left last night's scene at an interesting place, so picking up the action tonight was easy. Amazed that I managed a 2K surplus. And the week just gets worse. I've gotta go pick up a neighbor's car after work and drive it home for them. Then I have to meet my sister-in-law and pick up my brother's dog. Then I've gotta get a present ready to mail on Saturday morning...and find to write more on this book...and hopefully pick up my car from the shop. ARGH!!!!!!!!

Anyway, glad I managed 2K tonight. No bets on getting that much tomorrow -- maybe I can get some words written over lunch tomorrow?

G'night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/15/05

1500 words -- The repair estimate on my car is $2000. SIGH. They may have it fixed by the end of the week. I just paid the Cougar off last year and it didn't even have a scratch on it. Wrote some more words on the book tonight. Hit 30K. Halfway there.

G'night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: If You See a Dream by Libby Roderick

11/14/05

2690 words -- God, what a horrible day! My day started with a car accident (wasn't my fault). There's at least $1200 worth of damage to my car. The bumper is hosed, broken in two, the driver side quarter panel is bent in and shifted away from the trunk, the whole light panel dropped forward. I have to take my car in tomorrow morning for the insurance adjuster to estimate the damage. Sigh. And it was raining like hell when I got off work. I was afraid the bumper would fall off the entire way, but it stayed on. Then when I got home I found my bombshell novel crammed into my mailbox (even though I sent a #10 SASE for just the reply) with a fucking form rejection. I cried all through dinner and then I sat and stared at the computer screen and played solitaire. Not sure why, but I decided I'd go ahead and write some more worthless words on yet another unsalable novel. I'll probably feel better in a few days, but man what a gut punch. A fucking form. Anyway, there's the word count.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/13/05

1285 words -- Too many people at the house, too late a night last night, and insert your favorite excuse here. No 2K tonight, but such is life. Still plugging away...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Eye Glances

11/12/05

2275 words -- No 3k tonight either. Too much going on. Had to make a birthday present this afternoon after the funeral. Then went to the party. Had a good time hanging out with some of my favorite folks. Yeah, I drank a lot, too, but the moment I walked in the door, I sat down at the computer and was able to pick up right where I left off before the party. I didn't think I'd get my 2K tonight, but everything just really flowed again. Still hopeful to tap a 3K day this weekend. Will try again tomorrow.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Eye Glances

11/11/05

2250 words -- Fell short of the 3K goal, so I'll just put that down for tomorrow's goal. I was much more alert tonight than I was last night. I need to think a little more about the book's Act II, to get a better feel for how things will unfold between now and Act III. Need to understand the conflicts that will arise between Kadence and Nate between now and the crisis points that will soon start rearing up.

So, I need to think about that a bit before I start writing tomorrow.

I just found out that SCIFICTION will stop publishing at the end of 2005. There is an announcement on the site, including a farewell note from Ellen Datlow. Definitely a shame. Ellen is such an incredible editor who brought us some great stories. I'm sure Ellen will be back editing something in the near future. She's too good an editor to lose.

Tomorrow will be a weird day. I'm supposed to go to a party tomorrow night that I've been looking forward to, but when I came home tonight, I found out that the husband of my mom's friend passed away. So, I have to go to a funeral tomorrow morning and a party tomorrow night. Something feels strange about that. Life is strange.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Dream Spiral by Hilary Stagg

11/10/05

750 words -- Yeah, pretty dismal word count there, but it was the best I could do tonight after putting in a ten-hour day at work. My plan is to write 3K tomorrow night to make up for my poor output tonight.

I'm beat...going to bed.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Eye Glances

11/9/05

2000 words -- I'm nearly one third of the way there. And approaching the 100-page mark. I always feel good when I pass the 100 page mark. I need to think about the obstacles that Nate and Kadence will face in the middle of the book as I gear up for the third act. Toward the end of the second act, after she and Nate have already bonded a bit, Kadence will discover that Nate is engaged. In the third act, Nate and Kadence will face a challenge neither has faced before as Hurricane Rita approaches. I just have to keep the second act on track and moving at a steady clip. I think I can make that happen, but I always doubt myself until I actually get there. Enjoying the ride so far. Especially with the work stress being so high and my dad's health problems mounting. I love having a book to immerse myself in when I come home.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/8/05

2250 words -- I didn't think I'd reach 2K tonight, but I managed an extra page over that goal. And I *FINALLY* got Nate and Kadence together. Took me five chapters, but they've just met and the heat will definitely rise between these two. They've got a lot of obstacles to overcome, but Kadence has him in her house for a month. Then he has to return home to Arlington and his fiance. Should be great fun. :)

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: The Collection by Mary Black

11/7/05

2250 words -- Tonight, Kadence revealed the source of the deep sadness in her life and the upcoming first anniversary of her fiance's death. She's been immersing herself in other people's problems, trying to help them move on, especially in the wake of a devastating hurricane.

And Nate gets the bad news that he's got to leave the comfort of his Arlington apartment for the Louisiana countryside. Soon, he'll meet Kadence for the first time. Sparks will fly.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: If You See A Dream by Libby Roderick

11/6/05

Today was a struggle to write. Not because of the story or anything. Just felt exhausted all day. I managed a decent word count though: 2375 words, so I'm pleased that I got at least 2K.

I got a lot of work done with Kadence's POV today though. It was a lot of fun to discover what made her tick. I really like this character. And a new supporting character that I hadn't expected. Enjoyed spending time in these two chapters. Hoping to finish Chapter Four tomorrow night.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Land of Forever by 2002

11/5/05

A low word count tonight, as predicted. Only managed about 1375 words tonight. Just had too much going on today. I didn't manage a 2K day, but still plenty of time to catch up. I did break the 10K barrier, so I'm pleased with that. Almost ready to start Chapter four, I think.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/4/05

A little later start than I'd expected, but I had to run an errand after dinner. So I didn't get to the keyboard until 9 pm tonight. But fortunately, it's the weekend, so I don't have to go to bed early. I even managed a decent word count: 2750 words. Should break 10K by tomorrow. If I manage to get the rest of my errands ran. And I told a friend I'd go bowling with him tomorrow, so that'll be a couple of hours less of writing. But I should be able to put some good time in on Sunday. The Dare's going well though, so I don't think I'll have problems finishing on time.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Shepherd Moons by Enya (who has a new CD coming out this month!!! Can't wait!)

11/3/05

Got a little bit of a late start tonight. Pure procrastination, I guess. It's just been one of those tiring weeks and my energy level has been really low. I managed a decent word count though. 2250 words. That brings the total to 6500 words so far. Finished Chapter one and started two. Kadence's chapter will start next. Hope this book doesn't suck.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: A Few Small Repairs by Shawn Colvin

11/2/05

Looong day at work that started with an early meeting (earlier than my normal start time) followed by two hours of league bowling...needless to say, by the time I sucked down a quick bite, I didn't get to the keyboard until a little after 8:30 pm. I did manage 1500 words tonight, so as long as I average 2K a night, I should be fine for finishing the book by 11/30.

I've almost got the first chapter finished. I hadn't expected it to be 5K, but it looks like it's going to be pretty close to that. Nate has already ended up in the hospital though, so things are moving along at a good pace. Once I put Chapter 1 to bed, I can introduce Kadence Harlowe, my heroine. I'm looking forward to exploring her point of view next. I think I've already thrown out the threads of Nate's issues now, so looking forward to seeing Kadence hit the page.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

11/1/05

Lots of rejections arrived over the past two weeks. Not even sure I want to bother sending the stories out again.

Started the new novel tonight. Another Dare. No working title just yet. I put down 2750 words tonight on the first Chapter. It'll probably be another 1K before I finish it. Hopefully I can at least get down another 2K tomorrow. Have to bowl. Was hoping I wouldn't have to, not feeling up to it, but duty calls.

More tomorrow.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

10/19/05

My copy finally arrived today and I just opened the package. To actually see the book in final form and hold it in my hands . . . it was a religious experience. Wow...I'm amazingly speechless. I'm trying to come up with a comparison, but I'm failing. I guess it's like the first time I tasted ice cream or the first time my bicycle just glided forward and I could hold out my arms and pretend I was flying. What an intoxicating feeling! I have to admit though, when I saw the package lying there, I was terrified to open it. I kept putting it off until finally, I just sucked it up and opened it. What if it's not any good? What if people hate it? What if they laugh at me? It may very well be all of the above, but at least I know that I had the guts to put a little of myself out there. No matter what, I took the risk. So, no matter what happens, I can look back and remember this moment -- free and clear like that first ride on my bicycle or that first taste of chocolate ice cream.

And as the cycle continues, I'm gearing up to write my next book. I plan to start it on November 1st and be a part of the National Novel Writing Month. Really looking forward to immersing myself in a new story. I'm hoping get my butt in gear with a short story this week, too.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: nothing

10/8/05

Oh, wow...I've just been informed that my collection is out...gasp...now, I have total butterflies in my stomach. I hopped over to Barnes & Noble then Amazon and there it was. What a surreal experience to type my own name into Amazon and have it come up with a book title. I just ordered a copy of my own book. I'm humbled, scared, excited, and nervous at the same time (if that's even possible).

I'm proud of this book. It represents thirteen years of my life and the gamut of my work. The book includes three new stories from me. I hope there will be more stories where these came from, but this is a milestone in my career. My first story collection... I hope this book is just the beginning.

The book includes an introduction by Dean Wesley Smith, an incredible man, talented writer, and excellent teacher. If it wasn't for Dean and his wife, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, I would never have become a published writer. Had it not been for Kris and Dean, the writing "hiatus" I took in 2001 would have been permanent. By December 2001, I had effectively quit.

Waay back in 1992, I started writing short stories because of Kris and Dean's Dare to be Bad (as told to me by a friend). And one of my first rejections was a personal one from Kris when she was editing F&SF. I met Kris and Dean at my first ever writer's conference in 1992 when they were doing workshops at conferences. So having Dean do the introduction to my first collection just seemed right and I'm grateful he agreed to do it.

I can't think of any other writers who've had that much impact on my career. Except for three of my peers: Ron Collins, Patricia Duffy Novak, and Vera Nazarian. A word of thanks and appreciation to these three. There are no words... It's been a long, lonely, painful road so far, but I thank God I had company along the way.

So, here's to the next thirteen years...the journey never gets easier, I know that now. The long haul just doesn't even begin to cover it. Or those long dark nights when you've poured your heart onto the page only to have it torn to pieces and mailed back to you, postage due. It takes a lot to put those pieces back together and find the guts to mail it out again. And again and again until your eyes blur and your soul feels like a flattened sweatshirt in the bottom of your closet. But some insane drive makes you pull yourself up from the floor and shove the damned thing back into another envelope and send it out. One more time. Is it ego, stubbornness, insanity or rote movements -- hell if I know. But we do it. Even when it hurts, we do it, refusing to take no for an answer, refusing to let go of that last shred of hope, refusing to let go of the dream. And so I still clutch mine, hoping against odds, the system, the out-of-control slush piles and my own shortcomings as a writer to become a novelist.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

10/6/05

Work continues to escalate into a surreal nightmare of Biblical proportions...still looking for new jobs and praying someone will call me for an interview. I've gone home in either shock or tears every day this week. Just not sure how much more I can stand.

Thank God for the writing...I've been looking toward my next novel project. No working title yet, but I wrote out the basic premise and I'm pleased with what I came up with. Looking forward to writing the book. I may just dive in this weekend ahead of my 11/1 start date. I'm trying to be clever and write some short fiction, but I'm not feeling terribly confident in that area. There's an anthology I'd really love to write something for, but I'm having performance anxiety. I need to write something good, not just competent. Hell, who am I kidding, it's gotta be better than good to even have a chance. And the idea bin is a little dusty for short stories right now. Maybe it's just the work stuff blanking my brain...sigh. Need to go idea searching, I guess, find that spark that makes a story. One thing's for sure, I need to be writing something.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: Job Postings
Now playing: Weathered by Creed

10/4/05

Feeling a little lost on the writing front this week. I sat down last night, hoping to start work on a new short story. But I got no where fast. I ended up editing an old story instead. There are a couple of anthologies I want to sub to, but I just couldn't come up with anything coherent. Honestly, I miss the novel experience. :) I love the act of writing a novel, it's such a satisfying experience. But the longer I stared at the blank page, the more blank my imagination became. So I let it go. I think I need a little inspiration, something to click for a short story. One of those little ah ha moments that spark in my brain.

So, no real writing occurred last night.

Got yet another rejection from an agent on a query yesterday. My query letters must really suck. Couldn't even get them to look at even one chapter. I think I'm done with agents. I'm way too frustrated with this process to keep wasting postage on it. And I'm tired of having my entire body of work and potential as a novelist shot down on the basis of 3 lines of text. Besides, writing fiction is a much better use of my time. Maybe one of these days, it'll be my turn at the dance? Over the past thirteen years, I've seen a lot of people break in and I've wished desperately for that one break. That one major sale. It hasn't happened yet, but certainly not for my lack of trying. I've given a lot up for my writing — relationships, career opportunities — knowing it was a long haul. And at this point, I get tired a lot, discouraged a lot and I constantly wonder why I ever thought I could write in the first place. But every night I go back to it. A new story is a new hope and so the process goes.

But I'm not sure that I ever really thought, "Hey, I can write that much better!" My entrance into writing was a love of creating my own worlds, my own characters and situations. For me, it was more of a "Hey, I want to create worlds, too!" It was never an ego thing, it was always the hope of, "will someone else like this, too?" It was only later when I would hear people say how big an ego most writers must have that got me thinking. Maybe I'm just plain wrong, but I don't think all writers have huge egos. I think a ton of them are like me, wanting to share their worlds with other people. Feeling a need to communicate with others in ways we could never do verbally.

Most people when they meet me, they think I'm very quiet and I can be. I'm not a very trusting person, so it takes me time to extrovert myself with others. And even then, I can't always verbalize my thoughts or feelings. Then I feel frustrated by my inability to express myself. So, for me, writing was always a way for me to communicate when everything else failed. A way to connect to other people in the only way I ever could.

Yeah, I know. Writers are weird. :) Some of us spend too much time in our own heads. I'm totally guilty of that. And I'm writing this from work (shame!). :) And unfortunately, I've gotta get back to it. Bleh.

Now reading:
Now playing:

9/30/05

The Cinderella Hour: FINAL Word Count = 77,000 words!!!

11:40 pm -- 7500 words -- Holy shit...I wrote 7500 words tonight!! I'm sitting here stunned and grinning like an idiot!

Yeah, baby!! I did it!!! I finished the book!!! And I can't tell you much my hands are throbbing at this moment. I can barely type.

Final word count is 77,000 words. I freaked when I added my page headers and saw the 308. When I started this book, I never dreamed I'd hit 300 pages. But there it is. Twenty minutes before deadline.

I'm gonna feel really lost tomorrow night. But tonight, I'm pretty damned pleased with myself. :)

G'night...

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/29/05

4250 words -- Yeah, check that number out...I totally kicked butt today, writing a little over lunch and barnstorming through a flurry of words. I was amazed when I checked my word count. This was one of those nights when I just couldn't type fast enough.

Jack has given up and so has Talia. The Masked Ball happens tomorrow night and Talia believes she's lost her wings. But two hours before Jack goes out to declare his choice, the woman who setup Talia confesses what she's done to Jack. Sick that he's chosen another woman, and knowing that he's giving up a million dollars, Jack decides to throw himself on Talia's mercy and beg her forgiveness. But violence will errupt at the Ball, a woman bent on revenge, and Talia must save Jack's life -- at the cost of her human soul. A soul she'd rather give up her wings to keep so she can stay with Jack. She'll win the wager between Lucifer and Sariel, but she'll lose her heart in the bargain. But in her saving of the second soul -- her own -- she gets a second chance. A chance at humanity or the return of her wings.

Exhausted...crashing now...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/28/05

3250 words -- Talia kept Jack alive and now struggles to find his match before her time runs out. She doesn't realize that she's his match and with the Masked Ball approaching, she tries to find a way to stop the horrible fate awaiting him if she fails.

But Jack, after almost making the biggest mistake of his life, learns the truth about Talia and realizes that his heart will never be the same if he lets her go. With a million dollar prize at stake, he decides to throw it away and beg Talia's forgiveness. Coming up tomorrow night. But Talia's darkest moment is nearly upon her . . . wow . . . I'm probably 7 or 8K from the end . . . Nothing like an eleventh hour finish.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/27/05

3000 words -- I've set the final chain of events into motion. Jack's darkest moment has begun. Talia's fast approaching. Due to a deception, Jack has thrown it all away, thinking the worst of Talia. Now, she must do everything in her power to save him from himself. But that's a chapter for tomorrow night.

I've got bowling tomorrow night, too. Bleh. If I'm lucky, I'll put down 2K tomorrow. This book will be a little over 70K, I think. At least on this draft. After I write the final chapter, I'll let it set a few days and then take another critical look at the trouble spots I'm feeling in my gut. But tonight, this manuscript officially became a novel.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Weathered by Creed

9/26/05

3750 words -- More firmly applied butt to chair tonight and came up with solid movement into the book's third act. I'm 1K away from the big N. If I hadn't run out of time tonight, I'm positive I could have rang the 60K bell. Gotta crash though, have a %&$%& meeting first thing tomorrow morning.

Jack's setting himself up for a hard fall as he comes face-to-face with the demon of his addiction and succumbs. Talia faes a painful wakeup call, forcing her to make the hardest decision of her short life. She thinks that in order to save Jack, she's got to give him up, not realizing that in order to save him, she's got to hold onto him for all she's worth. All of that coming up in the next few chapters. All wrapped up in a masked ball and a pair of glass slippers. Can't wait!

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: City of Angels soundtrack

9/25/05

3000 words -- Kind of screwed up the momentum today and didn't get much done. Dammit! That leaves me five days to put this book to bed. It's my own fault. Again, I didn't apply myself and was a lazy ass today. Feeling pissed off at myself for letting so many hours of needed writing time slip through my fingers.

Anyway, I did manage to get some setup in place for the book's last scenes. At least I got that accomplished. I've got to write Talia through a slow spot and finish the book's second act. I'm about 1-2K away from putting that to bed. Then I start the third act, by far the most fun in the book and with Talia and Jack's darkest moments fast approaching, I think there's also a happy ending out there somewhere, but there are several directions that ending can take. Not sure which one is right for the book yet. But one thing's for sure, I'd better figure it out by Friday night or I fail the Dare. No pressure there...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/24/05

3500 words -- A modest move forward. Didn't quite apply myself as much as I should have today. I let my focus drift to an older short story I'd never submitted and trimmed that one up for submission. Should have waited another week to do that and kept my focus on the book. Oh, well -- too late now. I should have wracked up twice the word count I turned in today. Guess I'll give it another shot tomorrow. But on the bright side, I'm past the 50K-mark!! This book is definitely careening toward 70K. Tomorrow, I'll have this puppy within strike range of 60K. Timing-wise, I'm also within strike range of 70K by Friday, 11:59 pm. Monday night, I'll definitely be feeling the heat and the wind down of the Dare clock. I will finish this book on time.

I discovered a short story I'd trunked because one of my former writers groups said it wasn't any good. What a dolt I am to have trunked a story like that. It's not the best thing I've ever written, but it definitely wasn't the worst either. I saw what I'd been trying to achieve, but didn't manage to pull it off due to a lack of details. An easy fix actually. It had been years since I'd even seen that story, but when I read it, I knew where I'd been trying to go. So I took it there. It may not sell, but it sure as hell won't sell buried on my hard drive.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/23/05

2750 words -- Ran into a few plot snags tonight, but I think I've gotten them figured out. Didn't quite hit a 3K count tonight, but any surplus above 2K is good. I've got to start making things tough on my main characters. The washer feels a little bit out of round tonight, but I hope I can set things back on the proper axis tomorrow. Brain is fried. I need to cut my bad guy loose to wreak a little havoc. And Talia needs to exert more direct action, making things even worse. She's done a good job so far, but it needs to go further.

We'll see...gotta hold onto the spin on this one or it'll get away from me.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Light from a Distant Shore by Hollie Smith

9/22/05

3250 words -- Major crappy day at work. Really had me feeling like a capital L loser today. Felt really low tonight, so I hit the keyboard immediately after coming home. Ate dinner as I wrote, keep my brain busy with something else. And later in the evening a very nice rejection from Futurismic. Sure wish the timing had been better. Like tomorrow. Didn't care for the reinforcement message. God, I want to feel like I have a future at something. The job is really crushing me. I've got to get out and find something else. Haven't heard anything on the jobs I applied for. If that job last year had just had 3 weeks vacation, I'd be out of this stress OD.

Gotta suck it up for work tomorrow, but the thought of going in makes me sick at my stomach. Sorry for the downer post. I'm glad I cranked out 3250 words tonight. And so close to 50K. 60K is just a stone's throw away. And theres' a ton left to do in the book. Man, I've gotta write my butt off this weekend and try for 60K by Sunday because this book's looking like an 80K write to me. I can do it. I once wrote 97K in 28 days. I should be able to d 80K in 30 days. I've written 13 manuscripts now, so I have a good feel for structure. It's something I don't have to think about now, a good thing. Just have to tell the story. And I'm the one who knows it best, y'know.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Two by The Calling

9/21/05

2250 words -- Another good night at the keyboard...amazingly so. I started back on my bowling league tonight and didn't get home until 8:15 pm. (knee was really sore afterward, so I was a little bummed about that) And then I had to eat dinner -- what a pain. Then the damned cat decided he wanted my dad's dinner. He hooked his claw into the placemat and tried to extricate himself...yeah, you know what's coming...

Needless to say, he pulled the plate and coffee cup off the table, all over him, and everything in between. What a mess! Thank God the coffee had sat long enough so it was only warm (not hot). Ol' Murph got soaked. So...that took time to clean up, soothe and clean up the cat. Needless to say it was almost nine before I even sat down at the keyboard. I'm amazed I pulled off 2250 words in an hour. But I'll take it.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Two by The Calling

9/20/05

2540 words -- A very good word count tonight. Much more than I was expecting...but I broke the 40K mark! YEAH!!!!! I was afraid I'd fall short tonight, but I managed to pull it out. I'm beginning to think this book might go a bit longer than 60K, more like 70K, but we'll see. I'm really going to have to ramp up my production this weekend to make sure I get this book done by 9/30. It's coming so fast....yikes!

Gotta raise the stakes a bit for Talia though. Get things a little hot and heavy between her and Jack. This book is getting a little steamy already. Not what I was expecting either. Just hope I can hold it all together until the end. I can see the ending and it's really cool. Just gotta get there from here.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Two by The Calling

9/19/05

1960 words -- Just a tad shy of the 2K mark, not even enough to worry about. We had storms tonight, so I got a slightly later start than I'd have liked. I'm scaring the heck out of 40K which is a very good thing. If all goes well, I'll get close to that tomorrow night.

The mailman brought a disappointing 91-day rejection from Alfred Hitchcock's MM. I was at least hoping for a personal rejection, not the crappy form. This story is one of my best, at least I think so, so getting a form was kind of sucky. :( This story got a really great rejection from Ellery Queen, too (suggesting I try AHMM). Oh, well, back out it goes tomorrow.

Still no word on the jobs I applied for. I keep checking the offerings every day, hoping for something that will rescue me. Nothing yet, but I keep hoping. Sigh.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Light From A Distant Shore by Hollie Smith

9/18/05

2750 words -- Not quite 3K, but I'll take it. I think that puts me exactly back on track now. I should be at 36K today to keep on track for a 60K finish. Woohoo!

I was talking to my mom about romance books today and the real life v. escapism question and she said a lot of the books she read were books you could escape to, but real life intruded frequently in the single title books she read. I think I've been a little perplexed by my book starting out as a paranormal and the expectations that go with that. But then having the book veer off into real life kind of issues. Still haven't quite resolved that in my mind yet, but for now, the book will be what it'll be. It's kind of Heaven Can Wait meets Valley of the Dolls. How's that for weird? At least that's my description for the moment. I'm sure that will change with the word count. :)

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Falling Farther In by October Project

9/17/05

4500 words -- Sweet!!! My best report of the Dare. I struggled a little at first, but once I got into Jack's chapter, the words just started flying. I'm less than 1K down from where I should be now. So if I can turn in 3K tomorrow, I should be back on track! Woo!!

I know I'm not supposed to think about marketing and stuff when I'm writing, but this book is really perplexing me on what it might be. My best guess is it's a paranormal romance, but it's so Real Life that I'm not sure it fits in the paranormal category. It's surreal and real at the same time. Not sure that makes any sense. I guess I'll try to shove those thoughts out of my head, but I worry about the "what genre is it" game when I go to submit the book. Nothing I write is ever pure escapism. Lots of folks have told me that romance is escape fiction and people don't want to think about real life problems. But I can't help but deal with those real life problems and have romance develop in spite of them. So maybe the stories I write aren't true romance. They have strong romantic storylines.

For now, I'll just keep writing the darned book and see where it takes me. So far, I'm enjoying the ride. :)

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Falling Farther In by October Project

9/16/05

3000 words -- Yesss! Hit my first 3K night of the Dare. I definitely need to keep this up for a couple more nights at least, that would bring me back on track to finish this book by 9/30. That's my goal.

Tonight, I introduced a bit more conflict for the hero or rather brought it smack into his face. Jack's a few troubles he wasn't counting on tonight. And my heroine Talia, my nearly fallen angel, has just had a fearful encounter with a demon that's left her shaken and confused. So, I've seriously shaken up both main characters tonight. Gotta bring them back to center for a new challenge that brings both their goals into a clash. This book is just weird. :) But I'm enjoying it.

A 112-day rejection from Alfred Hitchcock MM in the mail today. Form. Story's back in an envelope to go out tomorrow.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Gray Glances

9/15/05

2250 words -- One of my better nights at the keyboard. Managed to get things moving a bit, but I need to throw in some conflict. Oooh, wait -- I just thought of something good that will throw a bit of tension into the story. Have to go write that down. I should have been at 30K by tonight, so I'm a little behind. Less than 5K though, so not horrifically off. I'm hoping to catch a bit on Saturday. No errands to run or places I have to go, so maybe I'll knock off a few extra Ks.

Mailbox has been quiet this week. I managed to get a partial of Isabel's Tears out today along with a short story. Right now, I've got about 20 short stories and 6 novels in various states of partials and fulls out making the rounds. And I finally did a rewrite on my first chapter of Isabel's Tear, so I feel better about the book now. Hope they ask for the full. Fingers crossed anyway.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: October Project by October Project

9/14/05

2000 words -- Managed 2K tonight despite this damned bronchitis. My brother called in a Z-Pack for me and I can already feel a difference after the first 2-pill dose. Should feel loads better tomorrow. I stayed home from work today -- didn't want to give this little gift to my co-workers. Honestly, I wish I never had to set foot back at my job. It's just making me want to run screaming into traffic. Just more stress than I can stand and I want to wish it all away. But I'm stuck until I can find something else. How I wish my writing career would take off...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: Dream Spiral by Hilary Stagg

9/13/05

1750 words -- Better still, but again short of the 2K goal. Rats! Looks like this was a bad month to write a novel. Still hoping for a weekend save to get me back on track. The sinus thing is getting worse, too, but fortunately for me, my brother's a doctor. He's going to call in a prescription for me tomorrow.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: ALL MY MP3s by my iPod nano!! :)

9/12/05

1250 words -- A little better word count, but still ran short of the 2K goal I was hoping for. More computer work had to be done tonight...and my iPod arrived!! And it's sweet! I loaded it up with all my music while I wrote. I have tons of space left on it. Just need to get familiar with its settings and such.

My dad didn't get out of the hospital today as expected. They have to get his coumadin (anti-coagulant) regulated first. He has a mechanical heart valve, requiring the coumadin. His incision is seeping, so the blood is too thin. He might get out tomorrow. I'd rather he stay there though until there's no danger of bleeding.

More bleh today. One of my students has been sick with a respiratory thing and I think I'm coming down with it. That familiar burning in the throat and sinuses. Hopefully, it's just a sinus infection though. Man, I hope not. I've used up most of my sick leave this year. I can't afford to be sick. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: ALL MY MP3s by my iPod nano!! :)

9/11/05

1000 words -- and it was a bear to get those on the page. I had some computer work that had to be done for my brother which of course, took a good chunk of my day. I didn't get to do my own work until 9 pm tonight. I was lucky to get the 1K.

Dad is being released from the hospital tomorrow and he'll be staying with me for a few days until he can stay by himself again. That's going to be interesting... I didn't drive down to the hospital today, but I talked to him on the phone. He sounded good and had done some walking on his own. Two trips. He still had a third one to go, so I was glad that he was taking care of that on his own.

And more fun with the new boss tomorrow. I can hardly wait. Bleh.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Yourself Or Someone Like You by Matchbox 20

9/9/05

I saved my mom's life tonight. Still freaks me out a bit. She was on the phone talking to someone about my dad's surgery while eating her dinner. Suddenly, I hear a strangled scream and she was beside me, dropping the phone. Clutching at her throat. She was choking. I freaked. I'd never done the heimlich maneuver, but I used to work in a restaurant and spent many a day staring at the heimlich poster that hung on the wall. I knew if I called 911, they'd never get there in time. So, in my brain, I called up the poster's image and did the maneuver like I remembered in the instructions. The hunk of food popped out first try. I turned to jelly at that point, so thankful...wow, still freaked...such a simple thing, really. I'm just glad I didn't shut down when it mattered.

My dad's surgery went well yesterday and he's doing much better today. He was totally out of his head yesterday (he really reacts badly to opiates), but back to normal (mentally) today. He'll be in the hospital through the weekend and may get out on Monday. I didn't get anything written yesterday though. There wasn't any down time, so I didn't even get the chance to fire up the notebook.

2500 words tonight. Thankful for that. September 30th is going to sneak up fast though. Not sure I can finish this thing by then, but we'll see what happens. Fingers crossed that I will. Not the end of the world if I don't, but I'd like to my first draft deadline.

My IPod Nano shipped yesterday! Woohoo! If all goes well, I'll have it by Wednesday. Can't wait. 4 GBs will hold most of the songs I listen to on a regular basis.

That's it for me. I'm wiped! Have a good evening...

PS — Hugs and a soothing cup of Chamomile tea to Vera. Hoping the overdrive stress stops soon. And congrats on finishing The Story of Love!

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Lithium by Nirvana

9/7/05

1500 words -- Not as many words as I'd planned, but more than I'd expected today. I hope to catch up a bit on my verbage this weekend. Tomorrow, I'll be at the hospital most of the day for my dad's surgery. I'm taking my notebook because there'll be a lot of downtime. Hopefully I can get at least 1K written. That's only 4 pages, so hopefully I'll manage it. I'm 50 pages in now and it feels a little draggy to me. I need to get a handle on that right away.

I bought myself a present today. A black IPod Nano. Finally used my story money from the sale to Hags and Sirens in May. I ordered it online, so I won't get it for a week or so. But it's slick -- and super thin. 4 GBs of space. Should hold most of my MP3s that I listen to on a regular basis.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family

9/6/05

2000 words -- A sucky day...word count was fine, but I came home to a rejection from DAW. Just totally gut-punched me. Honestly, I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I see so many people around me selling books, and no matter what I do, how hard I try, how long I try, I just can't make it happen. Is it all so awful that I'm the only one who can't see it? Am I going to wake up in twenty years and still be an unpublished novelist, thinking, well the next one will sell, I just know it. A part of me is so tired of trying, but another part is so scared of not trying again because it might be around the corner. But what if it's not? What if I never had it to begin with and I'm like that guy who keeps sending a story every week that will never be good enough.

I didn't know what else to do but put the thing back into an envelope and send it out again. And like a dolt, I sit back down at the computer to push my rock up the hill again. On yet another book. Sigh. Just wish everything wasn't so damned hard. When is all the sweat and effort and heartache going to be enough? Just needed to vent a little. I'll be okay in a day or two.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Weathered by Creed

9/5/05

2200 words -- Kind of a screw up for the long weekend. I didn't get anything written yesterday, so a big fat zero for Sunday. Today, I managed 2200 words. The zero for yesterday is probably going to hurt me later, but it's my own fault. Honestly, I just felt like a lazy sloth yesterday and practiced writing avoidance yesterday. Forget it and move on, that's all I can do. No excuses.

Still haven't quite gotten the two main characters into viewing range yet. That will be in chapter four. Like I said, a weird book. Most likely, I'll combine chapters 1 and 2 into a single chapter. It actually makes the most sense, but for now, I'll leave everything alone until I finish it. Almost 1/5th of the way finished. Woo!

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Weathered by Creed

9/3/05

1050 words -- Not so many words tonight, but that's okay. I had a ton of errands that had to be run today. Went out and bought a ton of bottled water, food items, and other necessities for a Hurricane Katrina supplies drive here. It took quite a while to gather up everything then deliver it to a local church. Wish it had been more and I wish I could have done more. Supplies and money are about all I can contribute at this point. I just hope it will be of some help to those poor people. I also had to pick up an interview outfit (she says with great hope), just in case. My clothes are all so old and pathetic. Besides, I have a work thing toward the end of the month that will need something presentable. Probably not so smart with all the surgery bills rolling in, but I thought I'd better have something decent in case I got called for an interview.

Needless to say, that took most of the day. Okay, I did get sucked into the last half of Dirty Dancing after dinner, too. But I did manage 1K for the night. Better than nothing. Jack, my main character is being maneuvered into the main story conflict. I've just about got him there. I'll feel a lot more comfortable with the book once I get the characters into the main conflict. Then the rest of the book will unfold from there.

This book is really a different experience for me. Usually the first thing I do when I start writing a book, I sit down and write a kind of letter to myself, telling myself the story as I see it. All really informal, un-synopsis-like, just the bare bones story as I see it. Once I do that, I do a quick outline of chapter goals (what needs to happen by the end of each chapter). This time, I sat down and wrote half a page of high concept. Then I started writing. No chapter-by-chapter, nothing. Just chapters as they happen. Not sure if I'm being laid back or lazy, but it just felt right this time. Doing my best to stay out of my own way. :)

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Weathered by Creed

9/2/05

2250 words -- Another good night at the keyboard. Despite the horrible work day...I hope I get a call about the jobs I applied for. I got through Chapter Two and started Chapter Three tonight. So far, the chapters seem fairly short. I'm finding it hard not to guide the book into one genre or another. I have a bad habit of writing stuff that doesn't fit well into one place or another. But I don't what to force it into something it's not either. Gotta keep the marketing hat off my desk and just let the book be what it'll be. Tonight, I introduced the second major character. I didn't get very far into his POV though. The week is really weighing on me, so I think I'll take the 2250 and call it a night.

Today's email brought a nice 11-day rejection from Futurismic. And my beautiful glass float trophy for finishing a book last quarter (this is a private challenge group I'm in) arrived today. Getting my trophy in the mail really helped blunt the edge of a horrible week. So glad it came today of all days.

The knee isn't healing so well. :( I still have a great deal of swelling and a lot of pain behind the kneecap. The physical therapist set me up with an anti- inflammatory patch today that lasts 24 hours. So far, it's helped. I really didn't expect to still be limping and in pain, but some things just heal more slowly than others.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Tails by Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories

9/1/05

2000 words -- Very good night at the keyboard as I start my 30-day trek to the completion of a new novel. Working title is The Cinderella Hour, but that may change (depending on the direction this book takes -- and that's pretty wide open right now :>) I finished Chapter One with a satisfying word count of 2K for the night, bringing the book total up to 3500 words.

This is just a flat out weird book. I'm shooting for a short novel of about 60K on this one. There is a strong romance element in this book, so strong that it may be a romance novel. But honestly, it's going to be a damned weird one. I'm excited about it though. Had a really tough time getting myself into it tonight, but once I forced myself to get to work -- well, I couldn't type fast enough. It all just gushed forward. So I'm really, really pleased by that result. Hope it continues. With gas prices so high, awkwardly healing knee, and a long weekend ahead, I'm poised to get a lot of work done this weekend. We'll see. For now, I've got a good start on the book and a working title.

In other news, the day job is intolerable and my stress levels are through the roof. I am no longer equipped to deal with this kind of stress and life's too short, y'know. The uncertainty and the lack of truthfulness are more than I can stand, so I applied for a couple of new jobs this week. I felt a little better after doing that, like I was doing something substantial to alleviate my stress. That and having a writing project to absorb me are getting me through the week. I love being a writer. Creating a place where I can escape for a while is priceless. Every skill and profession can probably say that -- substitute X for place and fill in your favorite past time. Me, I'm glad it's writing. :)

The mailbox has been quiet this week and I need to buy stamps so I can get some more stories and stuff out in the mail. Trying to get my Race Points into the 50-something zone. One point for short stories, three points for novel partials, and eight points for complete novels. I'm at 46 right now and I'm almost ready to send out a novel partial. So I'm close.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Tails by Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories

8/25/05

*Bounce!* I'm really stoked right now. I've been struggling with the concept for the next novel-in-progress, jotting stuff down and throwing stuff away, deleting, pacing, cursing...but essentially getting no where. Oh, sure I've got words on the page, but no real picture of where it's going...or IF it's going anywhere.

Lesson 1: Trust Writer Brain. Writer Brain always knows where it's going. Even when you'd swear you were lost, that it was 120 miles to the next rest stop and you really have to pee, your Writer Brain knows the way.

Lesson 2: Get out of Writer Brain's way. Let Writer Brain Drive. It REALLY does know the way.

And once I settled down into my chair in a more objective mindset, I let my Writer Brain run and there it was -- a campy, fun idea I hadn't seen last night. Not only had I not seen it, but I was doing everything I could to escape writing tonight. And once I forced myself into a quiet mindset, the whole thing just jumped out at me. It'd been there the whole time and was struggling to surface in spite of me. And it's a fun idea. A 180 from the book I just finished. Just what I needed.

Lesson 3: Go freakin' write already! Go Play!

Off to play. Have a good evening...

Oh, and here's a link to the hardcover image of my collection cover.

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Storyteller by Rod Stewart

8/23/05

Yesterday was my first day back to work. Boy, is it slow going... I found out on Friday when I saw the doctor that in addition to the torn meniscus I had also torn articular cartilage in three places. So...the knee's kind of a mess right now. Until the scar tissue forms, the knee is going to be painful. I'm scheduled for more PT starting on Thursday. Can't fully extend the knee and it's really stiff despite the exercises they gave me to do. So, I'm kind of bummed. I was expecting to be back to normal by now.

But the good news is that I finally have a book cover to share!!! Yay!!! Here's the trade paperback cover. I just LOVE the cover...it's gorgeous!! When I saw the whole thing put together, it just blew me away and honestly, I can't stop looking at it. I shared it with a couple of friends at work and they thought it was beautiful. Can't wait to actually hold it in my hands. :) We still have the author photo (ick!) to plug into the hardcover (!) edition, otherwise I'd post that one, too. I'm just thrilled with the book. Working with Wildside has been a terrific experience and I consider myself extremely fortunate to have the opportunity. I may be doing another project with Wildside/Prime. Nothing at all definite yet, of course.

Tonight's email brought a nice 2-day rejection from Lenox Avenue. Liked the story, but not the right fit. I got the story ready to go out again and will hope for the best.

Also in today's mail were the requested revisions for the story accepted to the Thou Shalt Not anthology. Went through those and turned the story back around to the editor. Waiting to hear back if anything other changes are needed. All in all an extremely painless process. I like this editor. :)

So, I started the new novel last night and stalled after 4 pages...bleh. Wasn't feeling very well after work tonight, so I didn't write anything tonight. New boss, new staff, new school year, too many meetings and an unpleasant managerial incident I had to handle added up to lots of stress. Combined with the still painful knee equaled a bad day. I'm going to let what I wrote germinate for one more night then hit it again tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel more like hitting the book. Working title is Apex, but I *FULLY* expect that title to change. It was just the first thing that hit my brain. And ironically enough, this project is none of the ones I mentioned. I felt too much pressure to perform on those other ideas, so I just sat down and worked from an image and a shred of an idea I wrote down in May. We'll see what happens. Hopefully something very cool.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
Now playing: Singles 45s and Under by Squeeze

8/18/05

Today was my first day behind the wheel of the car. Didn't have any knee pain, so that was a nice change. Still have pain and LOTS of clicking when I walk though. I have my therapy appointment and stitches out tomorrow, so I'll find out about the clicking then. Got my permanent crown today and it fits like a glove. Some shiny gold teeth jewelry to add to my silver fillings.

I reread my post from a few days ago and didn't like its tone. Angry rejection response. I didn't mean that to sound so arrogant and or to denigrate any books in the suspense/thriller genre. I just really expected a more positive response from the agent and was really taken by surprise at the response. So I wanted to amend my post a bit by saying that I think this book is some of my best work. Yeah, I could just go back in an edit it, but I won't. I'll leave it as is, typos and all — all part of the writing record. Originally, I started this manuscript with the Silhouette Bombshell market in mind, but halfway through, realized that I'd probably written more of a thriller, a weird thriller at that. I've since learned that the edgier, grittier stories are okay to sub to Silhouette, too. And I wasn't sure if I'd written a single title book or a category (still not, to be honest). The answer is probably both. But I love the Bombshell line, so I decided to try the book on them first and see what happens. I guess I just have high hopes for this book (I have hopes for all of them, I admit it).

Looks like I'm in for a long wait though. Of course, they're all long waits. That's why I really want to immerse myself in a new project to absorb my attention. And I'd really like to have another Bombshell ready to go in case this one gets rejected. Saw a woman's story where she wrote three Bombshells over a 2 year period and sold the third one. Amazing!

8/15/05

The agent rejected my partial. Honestly, I'm not surprised. I expected it. I don't agree with it. I think this book is one of the best books I've written to date and I think it's just as good, if not better, than many of the published books in its genre. I'm tired of these people making me doubt my work's quality. This is a damned good book and it will sell. Not phrases anyone's used to hearing from me, but I'm tired of playing those, "you suck" tapes over and over in my brain. I kicked those voices out of my office back in March and I'll be damned if I let them sneak back in now. No more. Over the last few months, I've been voraciously reading books in the genre of the book I just finished writing. I know this is a good book. I guess the trick is getting someone to fall in love with it. No idea how I do that except tell the best story I can with the strongest voice that I can. In the end, all of that stuff is out of my hands.

So in response to that rejection, I've boxed up the entire manuscript (screw the synopsis) and I'm shipping it off to an editor tomorrow. If all goes well, she'll fall in love with it. :) I hope so. It's all I can do besides write something new. Hopefully, I can get a good start on the next book this week while I'm recuperating at home. I feel kind of guilty sitting around, but then I get up and start to walk into the next room — then I feel relieved I'm still at home. This knee has been a lot more painful than I'd expected.

And in some really cool news today (to counterbalance the evil rejection), I sold a story today! WOOHOO!!! My second pro sale of the year…can't tell you how good it feels to say that. The Dark Cloud Press anthology, Thou Shalt Not wants to buy my story, The Agonies! Response time was 64 days.

This sale is especially sweet because this story was my comeback story. The day I wrote this story was the day I kicked my internal critics out of my office. It came from the heart in my voice. Granted, a very dark place, but it was purely in my voice. It was my submission story to the short story workshop I attended in May and it got some really great responses from the workshop. I'm tremendously proud of this story because it opened a door for me. A door into a new genre. And into some desperately needed validation. :) The anthology will be published in Spring/Summer 2006. I'm just thrilled by this sale!!! I'd tap dance, but I don't want to tear more cartilage or pop my stitches. For now, I'll just chair dance! Yeah!

Now reading: Hunting Fear by Kay Hooper
Now playing: Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette

8/13/05

According to my surgeon, the surgery went well. At this moment though — I'm not convinced yet. I'm in a lot more pain than I'd expected. They trimmed away the torn cartilage in what turned out to be the lateral meniscus rather than the medial meniscus. They also found more torn cartilage behind the knee cap that hadn't shown up on the MRI. I know it'll only get better with each day. Just hope it hurries. :) I start physical therapy on Friday, so hopefully by then, much of the pain will be gone. Until then, I'll be spending a lot of time on my couch. Bleh.

Now reading: Dark Sky by Carla Neggers
Now playing: nada

8/11/05

Tomorrow's surgery day. I have to be there at 7 AM ... gasp! I just pretend I'm a day person these days, so this time really saps my acting ability. Gotta crash early tonight. Can't have anything to eat or drink after midnight. With this early time, that won't be a problem. :) As of now, I'm officially on medical leave from work.

I'm not sure how long I'll be offline (probably not much at all since I finally setup the wireless router). Any updates will be on the New Watermarks site since I can update that from anywhere, whereas this site has to be updated through the stupid software. Oh, well. If you're interested, check there.

Mailbox has been really quiet this week. Probably being kind to me before the surgery. ;) Just as well. I'm glad I don't have to worry about remailing anything this week.

Wish me luck! Hopefully, I'll have two good knees again in a couple of weeks.

Now reading: Dark Sky by Carla Neggers
Now playing: nada

8/5/05

Well...I survived the root canal. Thank *GOD* that's over. It was a three and a half hour ordeal that I hope I never have to repeat. MOST unpleasant. But the best part is it's done and my tooth didn't explode in emergency room, hit me with demerol NOW kind of pain. Just the normal kind of soreness you'd expect. I get the permanent crown on the 18th.

Saw the orthopaedic doctor this afternoon and got my MRI results. Torn medial meniscus. Surgery's scheduled for next Friday. Bleh. He showed me the tear on the film. I'd never seen an MRI before, so writer brain is totally kicking in as I'm staring at this thing, capturing details, the process -- the results for later. Writers are sick people, aren't they? :)

I've known all along this surgery was coming. I knew back in June in Anacortes that something weird went down inside that knee. From what my doctor said and stuff I've read, mine's a textbook case. The good thing is that once they trim the tear, my knee should be a normal knee again. I'd always thought I had arthritis in that right knee from too much sports (softball - sliding into any base any time any where) and prat falls (theatre major). So, I'm relieved to find out I don't have any arthritis.

So one more of life's little annoyances. The rest comes later, when the bills start trickling in. I get to see how much the insurance covers.

And on the writing front...I planned to start the new novel tonight, but I think I'm going to hold off until tomorrow. I'm debating between two books right now. One I started to write, but then I got sucked back into Pacific Blue Tattoo. I'm going to think about both books tomorrow and decide by evening which one to pursue. I'm kind of leaning to the previous book, simply because it makes good sense to write another book in the romantic suspense/thriller genres since the one I'm currently marketing falls into that area. That way, if hell does freeze over and I pick up that Land's End parka because the book sells, then I'll have another book to follow it. As it stands right now, I have nothing else written in that genre. Ironically, just two or three short stories. I have an outline for another thriller that I also want to write, so that would make three possible books. Weird. I never considered myself a suspense/thriller writer, but I keep having ideas for them damned things. The other book, no working title yet, is a contemporary fantasy and I have others in that genre. Tonight, I'm leaning toward the previous outline for Flashpoint. I need to start something, take my mind off the previous book.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: Dark Sky by Carla Neggers
Now playing: The Best of Sugar Ray by Sugar Ray

8/2/05

Finished the redraft on the partial for ETP. It'll go out in tomorrow's mail. Didn't manage to get anything else done tonight. Now I just need some inspiration on how to strengthen the voice in Isabel's Tears. I took another look at the first chapter, but just couldn't bring myself to touch it. Not feeling confident enough to tackle that one. I did a quick scan of where I should send ETP next and decided on DAW. I struck out with my fantasy novel there (never got a response on it after it was passed up), but maybe they'll like this book enough to respond.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: Dark Sky by Carla Neggers
Now playing: Fallen by Evanescence

8/1/05

Short night. Seems like I blinked and it was gone. Got another agent rejection today. Sigh. Every time I finish a book, I go through this. Send out a bunch of queries and they all come back with no. Without even looking at my writing. It gets so old. Of course, there's always the one agent that asks for a partial, then the whole book, then says no. I guess I should be grateful for that, but I'm so sick of being a bridesmaid. Sorry, just feeling discouraged tonight and wondering if it's ever going to be my turn. No response yet from the agent that has my latest partial. Trying to work out a backup plan for the inevitable response to the book. I wish life came with progress bars. Maybe in version 2?

I finished the redraft of my chapters for ETP. I'm going to look it over tomorrow then get the partial sent out on Wednesday. Need stamps. Then if I survive the freakin' root canal and ortho appointment, I hope to start the new novel on Friday.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: Before I Wake by Ann Frasier
Now playing: Singles 45s and Under by Squeeze

7/28/05

And the fun continues. My dad found out today that he needs a defibrillator implanted to regulate his irregular heartbeat. That will happen next week. He'll have to stay in the hospital overnight. Sigh. Enough already! I want off the merry-go-round.

Meanwhile, I'm sucking down lots of Advil, trying to make it through until next Friday when I see the orthopedic doctor. I keep checking for cancellations, but nothing earlier. I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday. I don't think I can make it another day on this knee. It's hard because the parking garage where I park doesn't have an elevator and it's a five minute walk to my building. Thank God there's an elevator up to my floor. But on the bright side, at least my knee's taken my mind off the approaching root canal.

Got a very nice rejection from Book of Dark Wisdom yesterday. 238 days. Got the story back out today. Also got more work done tonight on the redraft of Chapters 1 and 2 of Experiencing True Purple. Didn't finish the first chapter like I'd hoped, but I'm getting close. Hopefully I'll get these chapters repaired and a partial ready to mail by Monday. I love this book and nothing would make me prouder than to sell it. And so I will one day.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: Before I Wake by Ann Frasier
Now playing: October Project by October Project

7/26/05

Looks like the results are in for my tooth: root canal. I'm so bummed. These things are so expensive. The knee is still messed up, too. Went to an orthopaedic doctor today who says my symptoms are classic for a meniscus tear. I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow morning. He said I'd most likely have to have athroscopic surgery on my knee. Damn. Next week, I have back-to-back root canal and MRI results appointments. This hasn't been a healthy year for me. The knee problem has been going on for a year or so, so I'm not surprised by the doctor's suspicions. When I was on vacation last month, I was walking across the parking lot of the ferry terminal (very level surface) and felt something pop in my knee. It felt like every bone in my knee pulled completely apart for a second. Couldn't walk on it for several hours, but it got better. So I just thought I'd twisted it or something. I had days where it really hurt and I limped, but then it got better. Until Wednesday when I got out of bed and couldn't put my weight on it. After a week, I still can't. Can't straighten it fully or bend it fully either. Guess I'll know next week what comes next.

In other news, I got a rejection from one agent yesterday. Everything else is quiet. I didn't get any more accomplished on the new book that I have yet to start. I did pull out a novel that I hadn't gotten back in the mail yet and began redrafting the first chapter. As painful as it was to hear when the editor rejected, when I look at the book now, I totally agree with the comments. So I'm redrafting the first two chapters because I think they're the problem. They were part of my first rewrite on the book. Idea was on target. Execution was waay off target. I'd managed to suck the soul out of the book in those first two chapters. Didn't see that until last night. Didn't get much of any writing done tonight because of the thunderstorms (sirens going off, power flickering). By the time the sirens stopped wailing and I could pull out my notebook, the storms had passed. And now it's time to crash. Hopefully tomorrow night I'll get more done. But I'm quite pleased with the new chapter. It doesn't drag and it has life and voice. I think the rest of the book is fine after these first two chapters. So perhaps I can get the book sent back out soon.

Have a good evening...

Now playing: still to be decided
Now reading: thunderstorms, vol. 2

7/23/05

Peanut Butter

July 7, 1990 to July 23, 2005

I first saw him when he was 12 weeks old. Just a fiery ball of Persian fluff in the show hall, too young to be shown, barely old enough to be in the hall. He had a green gingham ruff keeper (a big collar to protect their ruff when groomed) around his neck and he was all copper eyes. Like a mogwi (sp?). Huge full moon eyes as big as nickels and beautiful, bright red fur. In the end, his beautiful flaming coat had grown dull and matted, much of it gone. His once plume-like tail had grown flat and lost its fur. Like an old, very loved stuffed animal, but we didn't care about how he looked. He was the nicest cat you could ever have. But that day in the show hall, when I brought my little persian Seville to her first cat show (barely five months old), little Peanut Butter was in the cage next to her. Little did I know that in a year, he'd be mine. A year later, he was a Grand Champion, he'd been neutered, and had digestion problems that caused him to poop all over himself (not a good combination with that long persian fur). This thousand dollar show kitten was now an unwanted and unhappy adult cat, so I took him home with me -- for free. Where he remained happy and loved until he got sick.

At 1:00 pm today, he left this world for the next. We never successfully diagnosed his illness, but none of the medications stopped his seizures, weight loss, and anemia that got progressively worse. Butter was barely alive this morning when we called our vet to the house. Despite the all the blood tests being inconclusive, we believe it was cancer, but it doesn't really matter now. When Butter was a year old, a vet diagnosed a severe birth defect and told me he probably wouldn't survive past one year. That was fourteen years ago. But when the vet saw him today, she said he only had hours left. But we couldn't let him go through those final hours in pain.

Mr. Butter is out of pain now. We buried him under the lilac bush where the afternoon sun hits, wrapped in a baby blanket and with two of his toys. He's the seventh cat I've lost in my lifetime and it never gets easier, no matter how many times you go through it. Butter was everybody's favorite cat. Always the greeter, he loved to say hi to everybody and loved his chin rubbed. And if you stopped, he'd reach out a red paw and tap your arm for more. Chicken and milk were his favorite foods. God, we're gonna miss him. So long, my good buddy. Until we meet again at rainbow's end

7/21/05

Not a good health week for me. Yesterday, I went to the dentist for a toothache and was told I had a cracked filling. The decay was causing the toothache which may be too far into the nerve to fill. Can you say those dreaded words: root canal? And more fun when I find out the dental insurance I've had for the first time ever only covers (at best) 25% of a root canal. SIGH. Then I get the lecture about coming in every six months. I should have come in at six months and infected everyone with my chicken pox. So, that's over $1000 I wasn't expecting this year. Unfortunately, I recognize this pain very well. I had it once before and had to have a root canal. Which was the single worst experience in my life that ended with a trip to the ER and enough percocet (sp?) to keep me knocked out until an oral surgeon could pull the tooth on Monday morning. Yes, my tooth went haywire after 5 pm on a Friday. So that fun's going on. And the moment I got out of bed yesterday, my bad knee went out. So with a throbbing toothache and a limp, I went to work yesterday. They gave me antibiotics and pain medicine for the tooth, but I've been trying to just use Advil. But having something stronger just in case is a real comfort.

I woke up this morning at 5:15 AM with the toothache, the bum knee, and cramps just for the hell of it. Sigh. Too much for me. I just couldn't function, so I stayed home from work today. I'm going to make an appointment to have the knee looked at soon. The dentist is going to attempt to fill the tooth on Monday (and hope that the decay hasn't reached the root), but if they get in there and see that the root's affected, they'll abort and pursue the root canal at another appointment. Bleh.

In writing news, I finished a draft of my synopsis for Pacific Blue Tattoo last night. I hate it, but I'm going to get my first reader's opinion first. I hate all the synopses I write though, so I don't know as my opinion counts. Isn't it ironic that I',m working on a synopsis while facing a root canal? Synopses are very much like root canals, but faced with both prospects, I'm leaning toward the root canal. At least I have drugs to take away the pain. Bleh. My first reader gave me a very positive review of the book, so I'm hopeful. This is the twelfth or thirteenth novel that I've completed in my lifetime. Both are good numbers. Maybe I got it right this time? We'll see. I'm getting ready to start my next one. I was going to write some short fiction, but I really want to write this next book. No working title yet, but it's a fantasy with romantic elements. It's based on a short story I wrote at the May short story workshop I attended. Before the end of the month though, I really want to get three of my best novels resubmitted. I need to fix the first chapters of two of them. Never enough time.

And...I have an ISBN number for my short story collection! Wow, my first ISBN number. :) The book will be a trade paperback and is scheduled for a November release. Here are the details:

The Sound of Angels
ISBN: 0-8095-5079-2
Trade Paperback
November 2005

I've setup a site (okay, so it's one webpage so far) for the book: http://www.thesoundofangels.com/

Have a good evening!

Now playing: New Miserable Experience by Gin Blossoms
Now reading: Finished Half-Blood Prince Tuesday night. waaah! Now we have to wait YEARS for Book 7. :( :(

7/18/05

Happy Birthday, Dad! He turned 76 today and I hope it's one of many more to come.

In the mail today, a positive response from one of the agents I queried, asking to see a synopsis and the first three chapters. I was hoping for a whole manuscript submission (because I hate writing synopses), but I've got a chapter by chapter summary of the whole book already written (I finished the summary on the last seven or eight chapters just tonight). So, I'll just put those major events together into a synopsis over the next day or so and get that proposal out by the end of the week (or sooner). I'm not going to get excited by the response because I've been here so many times. No excitement until the answer is yes. Now, I'm off to read more Harry Potter. I'm less than two hundred pages from the end...

Have a good evening!

Now playing: A Few Small Repairs by Shawn Colvin
Now reading: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE by J. K. Rowling

7/16/05

I have Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in my hot little hands....everything stops....time to read now. :) :)

Now playing: nothing
Now reading: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE by J. K. Rowling (yeah, baby!)

7/6/05

I was wrong about the word length on the Silhouette Bombshells! I thought 90K was the minimum length, but I went back and looked at the guidelines and the minimum length is 80K! That's awesome because 80K is *easily* within reach. :) :) I went over the manuscript and realized I'd left out that huge chunk of tie ups, so tonight, I wrote that whole scene back in and then I realized that I'd left out a necessary viewpoint chapter for Persephone, setting up her character and why she was in the story, etc.,. Checked my word count and it's now 78K!! Eight pages is all I need to make that minimum requirement. I'm *certain* I can find some places to expand. I can think of two right now as I type this. Sweet! I'll be able to sub this as a Bombshell after all!

I'll take a look at the expansions tomorrow night.

Now, I need to start plotting my next project. I've just gotta pick which of the four ideas I should write. On my way home tonight, an idea for a sequel started forming in my brain. I'd love to write more with these characters. Maybe I should just plot out all four and then choose? It's not like I won't write all of these books eventually anyway. See if I can bring my manuscript count close to 20 novels. This one is 14 or 15. Heck, I'm almost there.

Have a good evening!

Now playing: Fallen by Evanescence
Now reading: Another Man's Son by Katherine Stone

7/5/05

I went back through the last three or so chapters of the book I just finished, feeling like I'd left out a few things. And sure enough, I had. Two ends that I let dangle in the last chapter. In fact, now that I think about it, I still left one hanging. I tied up the others, but I need another line or two of denouement on the one bit of storyline I forgot to finish. So, I've written another 2.5K, adding a new chapter. I need to go back in and fix this one last thing. Then I let it set for a week and go back through it. And hope the agent asks to see it. Fingers crossed.

Did a bunch more ubiquitous agent research today. I have my wish list down to 6 or 8 agents and hoping like crazy one of them agrees to represent this book. I spent a long time on the voice. As I read through, I felt nothing but pride. It's definitely one of my better efforts. I'm so glad I wrote it. And the fun part is, it could be a series. My only regret is that the book didn't hit my target length of 90K. But at nearly 76K, it's within striking range of 90K. I could expand Persephone's role more, add another couple of chapters from Tristan's POV, and even add another chapter from Sarah's POV. That just might get me close to 90K. But I'll worry about any expansions later. I'd originally intended to sub this book as a Harlequin Bombshell (which has to be 90K), but I'm not going to pad the book to fit a length. I know I glossed in a few places when I could have told more story, so I know the book could be a bit longer. I know I could add another 8K without a problem. Any more than that...I don't know. Like I said, we'll see. I want to get a few other queries out the door though. Even though it was a bear to write, I'm really excited about this book and hope someone else will be too.

This weekend, I bought some furniture for my office (forever a work in progress). Kris Rusch recommended to me a while back that I change around my office, to get myself out of writing funk I couldn't shake. So, I've been trying to do just that, but it's been a very slow process. I bought a beautiful alder table that I intend to put my printer and such on. Bought another cabinet with tons of drawers (to eliminate the horrible clutter in this small space). Solid pine, but I had to put it together. It was a bear to do and took me two days (counting the primer and painting), but the room looks a lot nicer now. I painted my accent wall and rehung my orca prints. The paint is this beautiful pale lavender called Northern Lights. The other three walls will be this pale sea glass green. Can't do those yet though. Not until I have time to pull everything away from the walls and paint. Then I'll have to replace the drapes. The final stage will be replacing my L-shaped desk with a lighter wood (maple or alder). The black desk I currently have will go down to the basement for my jewelry making (which I currently do at the kitchen table.)

Needless to say, I got little else done this weekend. Except I did manage to spend some thought time on the next manuscript I want to write. A short story I wrote at the workshop was whispering that taunting little word (novel) to me after I finished it. A fantasy romance. So I did some plotting on that (just in my head) and I sketched out two other ideas for books. And I have a proposal for a ghost story/mystery that I wrote in November that I haven't done anything with yet. I have FOUR BOOKS I can write...wow! I've never had so many ideas before -- it rocks!! I may not be selling much right now, but I'm just having a blast with the writing again. Sheesh, I still have to redraft parts of Exhaling Silence and Isabel's Tears and get those out the door, too.

The final manuscript for my collection has been turned in with author photo and bio to follow. WOOO!!!

Okay, back to the query letters...

Now playing: Every Morning by Sugar Ray
Now reading: Another Man's Son by Katherine Stone